Putting My Money Where My Mouth Is

Remember last week's 'uh-oh'? That would be when my dentist (who lives in a Bottomless Pit of Mary's Money) broke one of the movie star teeth he was trying to screw into my head?

Consider that mission finally accomplished!

I look mahvelous, darlings.

This wasn't sheer vanity. As a child, a poorly executed gymnastic move knocked my teeth every which way--including up (into my nose!) and all over the gym. Blood, mayhem and concussion were involved. When I tell people about that back handspring off the balance beam, they say: "Wow, you must have been good."

Really?

Guess that explains how I knocked out all those teeth.

When my old fake teeth needed replacing, my dentist suggested a fashionable caffeine and nicotine yellow, the color of my remaining natural teeth. But if the Matron is going to fork over a month of hard-earned salary, she is going to look damn good later.

So we're all bleach and bling.

And happy!