The Matron has a friend who gives David Sedaris a run for the money, on a daily basis. This friend, except for the voice, probably IS David Sedaris in hiding, they are that much alike.
So she calls him -- at work - -this morning. He is currently toiling as a receptionist at a law firm.
Matron: "Good morning, honey!"
David Sedaris In Hiding: "Darling! Let me tell you about my cat's latest attempt to take my life. Oh damn. That phone. What are these people thinking! Hold on a minute."
da-da-da-da holding. . . .
DSIH: "Can you believe the nerve, some of these people, calling? Where was I? Good God! Someone is walking in the door.!! Oh my GOD now I have to deal with this dunce. Hang on a minute. . . "
da-da-da-dah waiting. . . .
DSIH: "I'm back! Got rid of him, snap crackle pop! Listen, did I send you the link to the pornographic nun site yet? There is just NO LIMIT to what some people will do, darling. And at least the critics are remembering Farrah as a serious actress. It is a burden to be born with amazing hair -- I know! We suffer great jealousies. Great jealousies."
Matron: "Your hair IS terrific, sweetie. I'm sorry that's been so hard."
DSIH: "Beauty! A burden only those suffering can appreciate. . . OH MY GOD that damn phone! I think I'm going to answer "sewage storage site." How fun! Hang on a minute while I get rid of this one lickety split."
Ah yes. A whole new twist to the concept of reception. Love you, darling! Happy Friday to us all!