Actual Conversation

In the van after school . .

Merrick: "Mom, when I gwow up can I be a bad guy?"

Matron: "What's a bad guy?"

Merrick: "You have a gun and maybe a mean dog."

Matron: "Do you have a mean dog right now?"

Merrick: "No."

Matron: "Do you have a real gun? One that shoots bullets?"

Merrick: "No."

Matron: "Are you happy?

Merrick: "Only if I can be the bad guy."

Pause.

Merrick: "Do bad guys weaw footie pajamas? 'Cause I need mine."

And, as usual, the minute they arrived home, Merrick ripped off his clothes, put on his footie pajamas, grabbed a stick and played with a couple of dogs. And then hung out on the tire swing.

Bad guy.